From Blog: http://kibbsheartindia.blogspot.de/
Friday,
4 April 2014
Parenthood :
Cry Standing
"And I swear on everything, when I leave this Earth, it’s going to
be on both feet. Never knees in the dirt."
- Lil Wayne
In life,
there are three emotions that I avoid feeling.
The first is
anger. One friend defined it as "temporary insanity". I like to be in
total control of myself and I've had to discipline myself to either walk away
from frustrating situations, and when I'm unable to walk away, I remain silent.
Secondly, I
avoid guilt. It's pointless. I live life unapologetically because I live
intentionally. I don't feel guilty for making mistakes because failures are an
opportunity to learn. At times, I may feel ashamed for violating my own
standards (i.e. responding rudely on a stressful day) but I find it easy to
forgive myself and do better next time.
Lastly,
there's pity. Allow me to be completely honest here; Pity is a wasteful
emotion. No one benefits. At least with guilt you have the opportunity to
reevaluate the situation and do better next time. With pity you simply waste
the time needed to improve the situation.
Let me be
clear, I am empathetic. I will sympathize WITH you, but I will not feel sorry
FOR you. Though I believe in always investing positive emotions, I have no
funds to offer to charities seeking pity.
Let me tell
you a quick story...
I bring my
1st standard (grade) class outdoors every day. Thanks to John Dewey's "
The School and Society", which is a must read for anyone interested in
education, I created educational games that involve running, adding,
subtracting and multiplying shapes, and putting together letters to form words.
These games are played on the cement courtyard. At times, the children fall
down.
The first
thing I do when I run to a fallen child is stand him/her up. There's no shame
in crying but just make sure you cry on your feet. After they've fallen, I do
not sink to their level, comfort them, and allow them to wallow in their
misfortune.
I stand them
up. Cry standing. I am compassionate, but I make sure students take the first
step - Standing. Standing shows me they are not seeking pity, rather, looking
for a solution to the problem. The solution in this case is a smile, sometimes
I spin them around, high fives work miracles, and they also like to sit in the
teachers chair. I think they believe it to be a throne. I just see it as a big,
plastic chair.
But I
digress...
Cry standing.
I want every child to be safe at school, but if school is a microcosm of
society, we must allow them to fall. And stand on their own whenever they're
able to. I provide support but I am not a crutch.
There's no
way to get around it, you will get hurt in life. But at least stand after
you've fallen. I once heard a quote that stated, "I'm not so concerned
that you fall, but that you rise". Cry standing.
Though I am
not a parent, I certainly feel like one after teaching this year. I taught
large classes, various age groups, and have spent the whole day around
children. Literally. The. Entire. Day. After school, I tutored at the
orphanage. I've just turned 23 years old and I'm the father of 25 children.
Maury couldn't write a better script than this.
In the
future, when I have my little Jayalakshmi’s and Kibbsparticus' - Wait, I think
"Kibbsparticus" plural is "Kibbspartici" - I will teach
them the lessons I've taught my children here; Grow in courage, passion, and
discipline every day, have a love for learning, live authentically, and cry
standing. Always
cry standing.
- End .
From :
"Sober Reality :
Cry Standing"
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