Nervous

Nervous

Yes, you make me nervous…

But it’s hard to explain

Whenever I’m around you

I just don’t feel the same

My hands start to sweat

And I find it hard to relax

Thoughts of love run through my mind

And other random facts

But I also fight against myself

I’ve been hurt before

A tug of war with my past

Becomes my inner chore

I know that I want to love you

But afraid to open up

I know I want to kiss you too

But know that love is rough

What if you leave like all the rest?

What makes you any different?

Will you swim when tides are hard?

Or flow with the current?

Most people flow with the current

They leave when they have the chance

My hearts not yet healed, I’m still insecure

But I want to take the chance

So you want to know why I’m nervous

I’m nervous cause I’m still afraid

To invest trust, then lose a love

And suffer through the cycle again…

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Just Us

February 11, 2012

Just Us

I know that there’s a ball today

It’s the day of love

My texts are filled with invitations

But can tonight be… Just Us

I know today is Valentines

Everybody does

So can I spend tonight with you?

Alone so it’s… Just Us

The ball will be splendid

Our friends say it’s a must

But tonight I want to cuddle with you

Be where… It is Just Us

People cause interruptions

And I must temper my lust

But if we are alone together…

You’ll love when it’s… Just Us

This is a private courtroom

No jury for this justice

We can solve this case alone

In a bedroom with… Just Us

I know that you want to be alone

You do not pout or fuss

So let’s get a room for tonight

And make tonight… Just Us

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

If You Really Want To Hurt Me

February 7, 2012

If You Really Want To Hurt Me

If you really want to hurt me

And watch my tears fall slow

Constantly pouring down my face

A never ending flow

If you really want to hurt me

With my heart on my sleeve

If you really want to break my heart

All you have to do is leave

Many have left before

None have yet returned

So if you really want to hurt me

Go and take your journey

You said you want to hurt me

Well, what are you waiting for?

Your bags are packed, you have your things

Walk out of that door….

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Struggle

January 30, 2012

"Do not be deceived, 'bad company corrupts good morals."

1 Corinthians 15:33

Struggle

I’m rarely ‘round negativity

Cause I fear what I’ll become

I yearn for goodness. I scare myself

My past can’t be undone...

I struggle with my sins

And I struggle to be me

I want to call Christ

But ashamed of what he’ll see

I cannot share these thoughts

I have within my mind

How I lust after these women

Women fine as wine

I try to tame my arrogance

My stubbornness is rampant

My carelessness is loose

And my mouth I won’t control it

So leave me all alone

Don’t tell me it’ll be better

Let me drown in my tears

I’ll be trapped forever

I can’t escape myself

I cannot win the war

I struggle with my flaws

What are you in here for?

You’re here to do good?

But you don’t owe me a favor

Frequently I display apathy

Christ can’t be my savior

Do you know what I do?

When others struggle under labor?

I walk past and laugh

Pretend I’ll deal with it later

I scream above

I shout His name

Why do I feel alone?

I feel so dead

But still on Earth

When will you take me home?

Then you came along to help

Your love is suffice

You show it in your actions

You embody Christ

You tell me to be quiet

You don’t hear what I’ve done

Put sandals on my feet

Welcome home the prodigal son

You show me in my troubles

And struggles that I’m in

I no longer need look up above

Because Gods love is within

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Brilliant Minds ( : D )

Brilliant Minds

I came prepared

Ready to engage

With the brilliant minds

I expected to find

Within the walls of university

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,

And texting above their desks

Above their desks …?

In high school

We hid our phones

Below our desks

Covering our indifference

In university

There´s more honesty

For that I can take

A relieved breath

Everyone is sitting here

Only to get the answers

To past the test

- K.S. Fort

From, "The Civilized N -"

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Finger on the Trigger

Finger on the Trigger

I have my finger on the trigger ...

And I’m waiting …

Patiently …

Calm and still …

My target fidgets.

My opponents shake.

But I remain …

Still – but awake …

I have been waiting …

For a while now …

I’ve starved while they’ve feasted …

I’ve pondered while they’ve partied …

I am ready …

They laugh.

They cheer.

But know not what they celebrate.

They fight.

Over shit.

They don’t live but exist.

But I have had …

My finger on the trigger …

And the target´s within sight.

- K.S. Fort

From, "The Civilized N -"

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

The Last Dance

The Last Dance

The lights dim down

The moon is bright

But the night is almost done

Murmurs are the only sound

As every man finds "the one"

But I need not look too far

 For she is near to me

I look into her gorgeous eyes

And Everything I can see

I see an angel

I see perfection

As I hold her gentle hands

This is how she makes me feel

In my final dance

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Gifts

January 17, 2012

Gifts

“Can you hear me now…

Can you hear me now…”?

He asks me from above

I can’t hear a thing

Don’t see a thing

This life is just too rough

I can’t look within

Because I live without

My gifts I cannot use

I struggle so

These bills won’t go

Life has made me choose

Must it take a death

Must it be so tragic

For my eyes to finally open

I think it may

Take just that

To hear what’s always been spoken

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Hold Me

Hold Me

Hold me tight, please don't let go

I feel your grip is slipping

Please try, to hold me tight

For I feel my heart is ripping

With every swear and every curse

I feel us drift apart

When you see me, you look away

Only heaven knows how it pains my heart

So hold me, hold me

Without you how can I survive?

With you gone or away from me

Why should I be alive?

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Lives Intertwined

Lives Intertwined

Now that our lives are intertwined

Are you a little nervous?

Does doubt creep into

Your mind as well?

Are you anxiously curious?

Do you wonder,

Where do we go from here?

Do you fear

We may not last?

The future's so mysterious...

Do you wonder,

Can I love him this much?

Do you keep a scale?

Will our love stagnate?

Grow old and stale...

But I've just purchased

Brand new glasses

My vision's never been this clear.

I envision a

Perfect life together

Now, I have no fear ...

- K.S. Fort

From, "To Me "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

King

King

"I am King".

He stood before

The monolithic audience

And stated.

The audience felt

Uncomfortable.

Strained smiles

Marked a few of the

Pasted faces.

"Oh yeah,

Well what do ya rule !?"

A middle aged

Attention seeking heckler

Shouted from the last row

The audience burst

Into laughter.

Streams strolling from eyes

That once seemed

Stagnant.

He stood still

Presented open palms

In a gesture of peace

And calmly answered,

"My mind. My heart.

And my spirit."

And all was still.

- K.S. Fort

From, "The Civilized N -"

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Space

Space

"I don't want to

Talk about me right now..."

But what do I do?

It's hard to

Not want to invest

When the one

You love is stressed

Or depressed

But she keeps rejecting

All of my best

Efforts...

I feel helpless...

I hate to see you

Sitting down there alone

But you don't want me near you

Is it best for me

To go home?

Because you don't

Need me right now

And I feel unappreciated

And I keep wondering how

To reach you

When you prefer

To be distant ...

Flashback:

He's coming... He's coming

Everyone heads to their room

To not confront the negativity

The verbal abuse and insensitivity

"Kibbs, show him your report card..."

But I haven't got all A's

I did well this semester

But I'm not perfect ...

And I know I'll be rejected

"So, this is my report card..."

Twelve years old

Craving attention

As you stare

At the television

"Um... Dad, this is my report card..."

You grab it

Glance...

No reaction

Put it aside...

And I just want to

Run for cover

Hide

And even die

Feeling completely

Demoralized

- This is not that ...

You're not my past

And this is not

The same situation

I'm sorry baby

But I'm simply

Filled with confusion

As I try to make sense

Of life right now

Maybe I need

Some space right now

As I slow down

This life that's rushing

Far too quickly

Can anyone relate

To these pressures

Am I really

Only 23 ...

- K.S. Fort

From, "Dreamer: The Hopeful Romantic "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Unforgettable

“Sometimes the secret to find is to stop searching”

- Hopsin

Unforgettable

I hope you remember the late night walks

I hope you remember the sunrise

Hope you remember when I held your hand

Please don’t forget my eyes

Hope I mean something down the line

Hope I’m not forgettable

Hope you’re never afraid to introduce me

Especially when it’s uncomfortable

I hope I’m not a faded memory

Something left in the back of your mind

Hope time allows us to cross paths

At times, we search but never find

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Beauty of Poetry

Beauty of Poetry

The beauty of poetry

Allows me to draw

Out the most intimate

Emotions

Both on the

Valleys and mountaintops

It allows me to accurately

Paint pictures with

The most vivid colors

I can find

Words

This is exactly how

I feel

And with the

Right choices

You'll feel exactly

The same

Poetry presents emotions

That are found in

The little black book

Hidden beneath your mattress

It says what you'd

Want to scream at your enemy

It reveals everything you'd

Want to whisper in

Your lovers ear

Poetry is

The revelation of

Everything you've

Ever wanted to say,

Said, and everything

You've regretted saying.

Poetry is who you are now,

What you were before,

And how you see yourself

In the future.

Poetry allows one person

To stand on the world stage

Naked

And ask others to

Begin to peel away their

Social layers

Until we find what

Makes us

Human.

- K.S. Fort

From, "The Civilized N -"

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Sneezing On My Chicken ( : D )

Sneezing On My Chicken

On my food he spits

The sauce he sips

He's at KFC

He's waiting for me

He spits on my meat

He watches me eat

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Hoping You'll Notice Me

Hoping You'll Notice Me

I'm coming to

Pick you up, sweetheart

But I want it

To be a surprise

I'll sit near your stand

And I'll completely understand

That you won't

Have time for me

You'll be too busy

Mixing cocktails and other drinks

But I'll sit here

And wait ....

Until you

Look me in the eyes ...

I may have

Fallen in love with you

All over again

After seeing

This other side

You're so driven

So focused

Completely lost in time

The man hands me

My cappuccino

But that's not

What I really want

Right now ....

It's you.

All of you

Every bit of

Your attention

Focus and drive ....

You whisper,

" I love you",

From behind the stand

And I wonder,

How blessed am I

To be your man ....

But if only

I could be

One of the

Drinks you're making ...

I wonder what the

Ingredients would be

Could you make me

A Love Mix ....

Here's what you

Can put inside:

Let's begin with

What others see

Your magnificent beauty ...

My short haired goddess

With those deep ocean eyes

Phenomenal legs

A brilliant smile

That could light a room

And your humor,

"They didn't have

Hot chocolate.

But I'll make you some"

- And then you

Kiss me ...

Then rush back to work ...

If only I could have held those lips

For two more seconds ....

Your kiss

Gives me a glimpse

Into your soul

Your beautiful soul ...

Your compassion,

Trust, honesty,

Love, forgiveness

Motivation, focus

Dreams, worries

And perfect imperfections ...

If only you could

Make me the

Love Mix now ...

I'd save it.

I'd keep it

In the freezer

Until we could

Drink it together.

After your busy day

I'll come to you and say,

I'm here for you.

I'll always be here for you...

If you'd like

To cry before drinking

I'll hold you until

The final tear drops.

If you'd like to complain

I'll listen until

You decide to stop...

And then we'll drink

Our Love Mix ...

Slowly ...

After every sip

We'd kiss

And you'd be

In my arms

The entire time

And all the time

I'll thank God

You're here

That I am able to hold you

And I'll wish that

You always

Will be mine ....

- K.S. Fort

From, "Dreamer: The Hopeful Romantic "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Nights in White Satin

Nights in White Satin

Nights in white satin

Never letting you go

How long will you be here

Until I miss you so...

Loving you is easy

I dive with no risk

Stare at the moon with me

Give me one more kiss

Promise forever

'Til we no longer exist

'Til dust takes our bodies

And our spirits in bliss

Don't you fear falling

I'll catch you I swear

Hold my hands tightly

And time will be spared

Love won't be easy

But we'll see it through

With every breath you take

- Just know ...

That I love you ...

- K.S. Fort

From, "Dreamer: The Hopeful Romantic "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Turtle Time ( : D )

Turtle Time

Sometimes the time feels like

It’s on a turtle’s back

Instead of moving forward

It’s like its moving back

The turtle is in no rush

A clock is on its back

But now I've just wasted your time

Time you cannot get back

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link :  http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Last Minute ( : D )

Last Minute

"Why are you

Not yet ready?

We've ten minutes before

We have to leave. "

Leave?  (Yawns)

What the fuck?

Where we goin'?

Overseas?

"Close, but no

We're goin' past two states

So pack your things

You have five minutes"

When did we plan this?

"You weren't there.

It was a meeting

We had last week. "

And no one thought

To fucking brief me?

"Can you possibly pack

As you speak?"

NO!

I'm tired of all this bullshit

Getting told

Everything last minute

Since it wasn't important enough

To brief me

I'm going

Back to sleep.

Fuck you, is 6 am ...

  

- K.S. Fort

From, "Articulate Hypocrite "

Link :  http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

You Only Live Once

November 22, 2011

You Only Live Once

Tonight my phone is off

I've already called my mom

I told her I'll party hardy

So I'm going to turn off my phone

I told her I've got some things on my mind

I think it's mostly girls

Why is it women that fill my brain

With all the troubles in the world

To those who starve every night

My mind may never turn

To those who fight in endless wars

And those who's passion burn

But tonight's my night

I'll live it up

I'll find another time to care

I'll hang with friends

And live it up

There's no one there to stare

But how alone the Friday nights

How cold the Saturday dance

The crowd can't move me anymore

I easily tumble without a stance

I wonder if my circles fine

I wonder about those who suffer

But tonight's my night

Isn't it?

Shouldn't I leave it for another?

I have to go I'm sorry

It hurts so much to know

I'll kiss you on the cheek on my way out

I think it's time to go

So long my night

I live only once

How do I wish to go?

I'd rather help others

And always care

Not just simply know

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link :  http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

I Just Want ...

I Just Want …( Originally Untitled )

I want to pull you close

And wait

I want to hold you tight

Let fate

Show us to our path

No rush

I don't mind moving slow

I just

Want to see your heart

Is it

Far too much to ask

Let's sit

We'll talk til the night is old

Do you

Still think I joke around

It's true

I'm always looking to make you grin

But I

Have so much to show and tell

Ask why

And I will always give you an answer

- K.S. Fort

From, "Everything : Creative Chaos "

Link :  http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Wednesday Night Interlude ( Cover )

Wednesday Night Interlude (Cover)

Ring, ring, ring, ring

Just let it ring

Unless it's you

It don't mean a thing ...

I'm so lonely ...

You don't know

How bad I want you now

You don't know

What I'd do

To have you now ...

I'm so lonely ...

Empty bottles piled

I'm so lonely...

Thinking about your smile

I'm so lonely...

Hope your days better than mine

Counting down until you're mine

I'm so lonely ...

Cause fuck it

I'm not here to judge

Many can cause they

Don't know love

Girl, I'm lonely ...

I see many women

With empty faces

Another glass

Time is wasting

I'm so lonely ...

Ring, ring, ring, ring

Let it ring

If it isn't you

It don't mean a thing

Girl, I'm lonely ...

- K.S. Fort

From, "To Me "

Link :  http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

More Rest ***

More Rest

While we got

This moment of peace alone...

Can I be selfish?

Ask you to

Turn off your phone

So we're all alone

I want to

Hear you moan

Beyond the walls

In our home

Work really doesn't

Matter now

My focus

Is on you

On having you peak

Slowly...

Creatively...

What would you

Like me to do?

Should I massage

Your inner thighs

Orgasmically

Meditate

Immerse yourself

In the pleasure

Dive with me

Forget what worries

Haunt your mind

Submerge in love

Ignore the time

And very soon

I promise you'll find

Nirvana.

- K.S. Fort

From, "Dreamer: The Hopeful Romantic "

Link :  http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Bitte Bleib Hier

Bitte Bleib Hier

Ich möchte ...

Ich möchte ...

Aber die Zeit

Ist sehr kurz

Ich bin sehr traurig

Weil ich gehen muss

Aber ich werde wiederkommen

Der Geld hat mich

Verrückt gemacht

Ich brauche mehr und mehr

Ich denke über dich nach

Aber auch über das Geld

Und manchmal

Ärgert mich das

Ich liebe dich

Und ich möchte hier bleiben

Aber wenn ich hier bleibe

Wohin werde ich gehen?

Und wirst du

Mich immer lieben?

Ich kann nicht bleiben

Aber ich werde immer wiederkommen ...

- K.S. Fort

From, "To Me "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Have To Run

Have To Run

I'm sorry.

I'm leaving.

I have to go.

I cannot die here.

And I've seen enough

Who have.

Those who spend

The entire time

Fussing over

What they don't have

What was done to them

Who wasn't there for them

What they should have done

Could have done

And what they're

Still afraid to do.

I cannot stay here.

This is only a pit stop.

I'll be fueled here.

I'll use the complaints

To motivate me to

Stop making excuses.

I'll use the self hate

To motivate me

To take time for myself

Love myself.

I'll watch them

Starve before a full fridge

And remember to

Appreciate all I have.

I'll watch them settle for less

And strive for more.

But most importantly

I'll inspire them.

I'll return with the rule book.

I'll show them

The necessary steps

The path to victory.

After that,

It's no longer my responsibility.

They'll have to decide.

Take an unknown path

Filled with risk?

Or settle in the comfort

Of complacency?

- K.S. Fort

From, "To Me "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Lonely but not Alone ***

Lonely but not Alone

I hate the feeling

Of loneliness

But I thank God

I've never been alone

Because if I ever

Couldn't bear it all

There's always somewhere

I can call home

If I ever

Needed console

If I no longer

Could suppress the stress

I have people

I can turn to

Who have often seen me

Not at my best

If life throws

It's hardest punch

And I've fallen on the canvas

Left it all

I have a circle

That will embrace me

Will comfort me

When I fall

I feel lonely

On days like this

When my loved ones

Are much too far

But the heart tied bonds

Keep me from being alone

Love connects

The furthest stars

- K.S. Fort

From, "Dreamer: The Hopeful Romantic "

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd

Being 23

Being 23

I'm only 23

But I feel like I'm 40

As I try to

Piece together

The puzzle pieces

Given by my ancestors

While the past generation

Pressures me to be perfect

I need to balance

Every aspect of my life

And I feel...

Tired.

But you can't sleep

When you're 23

Not if you

Want to fulfill your dreams

In this society where

One must be ready

To compete endlessly

With an aging generation

Not able to retire

And our generation

Struggling to get hired

Where you try to

Understand the meaning

Of relationships

In the midst of divorce

Where it's okay to

Sleep with someone

Different every weekend

But feel lonely in the process

And numb these feelings

With social media

Addicted to Internet access

Where stress is

Numbed on a weekend

Drunk out of my mind

Only to be professional

On the weekdays

Pretending everything is fine

Where you have

No time to ask the question

"Who the fuck am I?"

Because you have

So much to do

All the fucking time

And I'm not

Sure where I am headed

I'm honestly confused

My poetry acts

As an outlet

It doesn't offer

Any clues

I'm only 23

And I have to

Face the world

Be brave and

Try to smile

Pretend

You have the answers... 

- K.S. Fort

From, "The Hopeful Romantic"

Link : http://amzn.to/2fmK5Nd